Wisdom from the Funhaus

Dude Soup

"One dollar, one hour" - Sean Poole

Spoole believes that for every dollar spent on a game, he should be able to get the same amount of hours of entertainment out of it. He believes this is a legitimate strategy, although many disagree.

On The Spot

During their debut On The Spot appearance, Team Santa Barbara Seawolves (Bruce and James) and Team Public Defecation (Lawrence and Adam) both produced nuggets of wisdom during the game Sync About It.

On Bear Attack Survival:

"First Freddie would possibly turn to the wilderness, right or left, because he is a HIV positive person: Bears running away from the HIV positive person. Freddie bears and running he HIV."

- The Santa Barbara Seawolves

On Picking up a Lady from the Bar:

"You must go to the bar throbbing hard and the hands most large should always be under veiny curtains, while pulling on her testicles. This is how you simply mount a woman at the testicles, but then you must HIV, will always."

- Team Public Defecation

How To Be Cool by Bruce Greene

On their 17th episode of Open Haus a fan or whatever asks Bruce to give some advice on how to be cool since he wasn't a nerd in high school. The steps shown below are not lies and are said by TV's Bitch Grass, this is REALLY how to be cool people.

Step uno: Grow a beard at 14 and shave everyday at 14. It doesn't matter if you don't have hair or not, just shave your entire body, not just the face. So start shaving like how Walter White did and buy some bandages.

Step too: Wear sweet cargo shorts and ska band shirts. (I may not be cool in high school right now, or ever but I know cargo shorts and ska shirts are not the way to fit in)

Step tree: Go to a lot of punk shows with other guys. Never girls, only CM Punk... wait.

Step fort: Don't have sex with your girlfriend. That's what girls like, to be their bitch. (Really? That's how to be cool? I'm in high school now and the only way some people consider you cool is if you have ever squeezed breasts before 18)

Step fly: BE STRAIGHT EDGE! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!